How To Love
OK, so I just finished watching Crazy, Stupid, Love. And I know it’s almost 1am and I just really feel like talking to somebody about it.
A) Was it just me or did Steve Carell just turned it ON ON for that movie? I could swear there were panning shots of him on film where I found myself tilting my head, jaw slightly opened and quietly thought, “OH YES.” Case in point: when he was standing outside his kid’s school waiting for him after that whole afternoon manfight in their yard (he was in sweats) - god did i find him hot there. Tell me I’m nuts.
Then there’s the whole ‘gamechanger’ scene with ryan gosling and emma stone ending up talking all night — that made me realize that THAT is what we all want. it’s what everybody wants, somebody who we can talk to and actually have genuine interest and compatibility with the things we are saying. I may be wrong, but that’s what I want. I know that that’s what I want. It’s so simple supposedly. But it’s just so warped and fuckin complicated in real life.
Lastly, that whole speech Carell made during his kid’s graduation day. I. literally. choked. in tears. When he talked about finding your soulmate and fighting for it and how you never stop loving ‘the one’ it just…it just…gah. How I wish I can say the same for me when all I think about is that, after everything I’ve been through, I don’t even know what love is or how to love anymore?!? It’s fucking depressing. He made it sound so hopeful. He reminded me of the one thing I want but can’t, for the sake of me, believe I can have. I’m sorry if my thought-dumping is too much for you to take at whatever time of the day you’re gonna be reading this. I..I just don’t know anymore.
(speaking off the cuff)
